i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
