I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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