This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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