Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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