You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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