I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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