I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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