Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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