Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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