You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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