as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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