help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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