i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
too bad you live with your parents still
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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