you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
