Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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