So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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