# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
