Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
