No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He did a backflip because drugs
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
