a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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