I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Randomize
