Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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