Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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