You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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