he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
