Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
