he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
