why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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