Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His nipple licking is glorious
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