I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
