Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
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we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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