I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
