please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
