Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
