so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
