She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
