In the future we'll all be gay
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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