the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
