i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
