Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
