so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
