Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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