You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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