He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
