Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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