Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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