If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
