Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I am one with the molecules
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
