I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
