he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
