Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so much tequila, so little girl.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
