He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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